For whatever reason, the relationship you thought you’d be in for the rest of your life is over. Adjustment to your new life can be tough and you may be forced to deal with situations you didn’t foresee. Your entire social network may have changed, as you are no longer half of a couple.
While it may be tough, you will get through it. And while it may not seem like it at first, you will find peace and happiness again. Here are a few tips to help you get through this difficult time.
- Make time for yourself
Some days may be rough. It’s okay to pamper yourself when you can. Even if you are overwhelmed with the demands of children and a job, try to carve out a few hours a week to engage in activities you enjoy. Exercise is also important for your physical and emotional well being.
- Find support
You will need to enlist friends and family to talk to, even just about day-to-day events in your life. If you spent a lot of time with your former spouse, you’ll need to replace that time and attention. If you feel it would help, find a support group at a church or community organization so you can process your feelings about the divorce.
You can also find support online, as there are plenty of support groups available on the Internet. Just be sure to keep a balance in your life and not let these groups take away from time you could be spending with family and friends.
- Find new social outlets
One of the hardest things about divorce maybe rebuilding your social life. Your prior life may have revolved around activities with couples. While you may still be included in some of these activities, invitations may not be as forthcoming. Reach out to your friends to join you on your own, or engage in more activities with your single friends.
This would be a good time to join new organizations, as a group at your church or temple. Think of interest of yours and find an organization for it. For example, despite our lack of snow nearby, Atlanta has a large and active Ski Club that hosts events and ski trips in the winter months. Or join hiking, biking, movie, cooking, or running club.
When you’re ready to date, let your friends know. And yes, think about online dating. Many people meet and form fulfilling relationships online.
- Let go of thoughts of revenge
The worst thing you can do is remain in a bitter pattern of seeking revenge or mired in unresolved anger if you were left in your first marriage, or your spouse had an affair. Yes, what happened to you may have been horrible and undeserved. But it did happen and remaining bitter is only going to hurt you, no one else. For your own sake, work hard to move on and stop focusing on the past. Find a way to let go of the anger.
- Remain optimistic
Many people do find happiness not too long after a divorce. Read about this woman’s journey through her first year in a recent blog post, Life After Divorce: One Year Later, as she went through grief and worry that the best was behind her to feeling confident, dating a wonderful man, and feeling okay with her past.
That can be your story, too.